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THIS IS THE OFFICIAL ¡BALLABAJOOMBA SLAM! "EMCEE SPIEL"(adopted from the official spiel at Nationals) . . .

POETS: Each of you will have three minutes to perform one poem of your own construction. No props, costumes, animal acts, or musical accompaniment are allowed. Each poem will be scored by our panel of five judges chosen randomly from the audience. We'll drop the high and low scores. Eight poets with best scores in the first round will move to the second round. Four poets with the best cumulative scores will move to the 3rd round. At this moment the slate will be cleared. The poet with the best score in the 3rd round wins the first place.
AUDIENCE: This is a listening place. Please give your attention to the poets while they are performing. After the poem is finished, respond to the poets AND the judges in any way you think is appropriate. Your job is to influence judges, in any way you feel fit.
JUDGES: We use the word "poem" to include text and performance taken together. Please, give each poem only one score on a scale from 0.0 (= the worst possible poem) to 10.0 (= the perfect poem).

  • 10.0 would be an earth shattering text performed perfectly that causes simultaneous orgasm throughout the house.
  • 0.0 goes to the worst possible poem imaginable performed by someone who should not quit his/her day job, and 10.0 goes to a poem performed perfectly
  • NOW AGAIN: ZERO MEANS "BOOTY" / TEN MEANS "DA BOMB."

Please use only one decimal place, as this helps avoid ties.
The audience may try to influence you; they may applaud you or boo you. That's their prerogative. Please remember that in a quiet poem, the audience has no way to communicate what they're experiencing. Don't be influenced by the audience or the other judges. Give the poem the score that YOU think it deserves. Remain consistent with yourself.
POETS (AGAIN): Judges are NOT experts; they are our public! The integral part of slamming performance is that dealing with a crowd that sometimes might want to talk back,. So whether you incorporate audience response into your poem, ignore it, get your feelings hurt, or just plain talk back, it's up to you, poets, to move YOUR audience. BE A GOOD SPORT! Whether you win or lose, BAD SPORTS WILL NOT BE SUFFERED HERE AT THE ¡BALLABAJOOMBA SLAM! Those who cannot respect this place and people gathered here, please get lost in the sea where sharks will take care of you. Even better, get a day job!

ABOVE ALL ELSE: EVERYBODY HAVE FUN!!! IT'S A F@#!!%* SLAM!

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